I first remember meeting Dollie when I was a teenager and I went to her house with my sister who had just married Dollie’s son, Jeff.  Dollie was sweet and shy and somehow seemed like a little bird that could be everywhere in that house at the same time.  She had a quick smile and an easy, but nervous laugh.  Through the years I learned to love that smile and her laugh came easier and more often and much less nervous as she became part of our family.

As I think back, I guess Dollie was probably about the age I am now when I first met her, but to be honest, she seemed much younger.  She was always beautiful and she always took the time to look her best.  She loved pretty clothes and jewelry.  She was colorful and bright and vibrant!  My girls were always fascinated by the sequined tops and the bright-colored lipstick she wore so beautifully.  She was a class act and a lady in every way.

There are lots of funny stories about Dollie, but they just aren’t as funny to tell as they were to experience with her!  She could crack herself up with the same corn joke every Christmas, and she was known to sit down with the wrong family at the restaurant on a trip back from the salad bar on occasion, but don’t get me wrong–Dollie was not a basket case!  She was a thoughtful, intelligent woman who marched to the beat of her own drum and had a wonderful sometime naive perspective on the world and I loved it.  And I loved her. 

Dollie went home to be with the Lord this week.  She was 92 years old.  The last few years had not been easy ones for her and it was time for her to go.  The descriptions of the heaven in the Bible include jewels and vibrant color and indescribable beauty.  Dollie will fit right in there.

One of the things I’ve been pondering this evening is the love of God!  Tonight was the Lord’s Supper at our church.  While Brother Wayne was leading us and reading from the Bible and talking about the crucifixion, my mind went to the Old Testament records of sacrifice and how it was a pleasing aroma to God.  I had never thought about it before, but as God gave His own Son, was that sacrifice a pleasing aroma to God?  I talked to Brother Wayne about it for just a minute after church and he said that Christ’s obedience was the sacrifice and that, indeed, that would be a “pleasing aroma” to God.  Thank goodness God is God!

I really think I haven’t been writing because life is just too dag-gone busy!!  I am so thankful for my life and ALL the wonderful blessings God has given and continues to give me that sometimes I get caught up and forget to take time to reflect.  I don’t think that means necessarily that I’m not thankful–I just tend to thank my Father in the present and live in the moment.  I wish I was one of those people who could remember events and people down to their finest detail, but that’s just not how my brain is wired.  As I read back through some of my posts over the past couple of years, I am very thankful that I took time to write down my observations, feelings, and thoughts.  Otherwise, most of that would be lost to me because I just don’t remember things the way other people do.

My brother can remember very distinct details from childhood and can tell stories for hours.  I could tell you a few general tales about growing up, but not with any clarity.  If you’re reading this, you probably know how much I love my precious girls, but sadly my sisters remember much more from their childhood than I do and I remember next to nothing from my wedding day!  I don’t know if it’s some deep psychological scar from my past that keeps me from holding on to memories, but I’ve just accepted that it’s part of who I am.  Thankfully, sometimes, when people jog my memory, things come back and I can remember for an instant, but on my own, most memories stay in the deep recesses of my brain.

Maybe if I live to be elderly, God will bring all my precious memories to the forefront as my reasoning and thought processes start to fade.  That would be a great gift!  (Although, like everybody else, I’m sure there are some memories that I’d just as soon He’d keep buried!)

Anyway, my point is that even though I’m not terribly consistent in my blog, I’m glad I stumbled across it this morning and had a chance to relive some moments that otherwise would have stayed below the surface in my mind.

I know that only friends and family ever stumble across this, so I love you and I am thankful for you!  Hopefully I will keep all of our memories fresh in my mind, but if not–just remind me!

I stayed in my office during the drawing, but the drawing was just in the next room.  One of the teachers was selected to pick the tickets and just when she was ready to draw, someone said, “Wait!  What prize are we drawing for?  Are we starting the the top prize or with prize number 3?” 

Everyone just kind of looked at each other, so I said, “I think you draw for the top prize first.” 

The others shrugged and said that was fine and the drawing began.  One of the home owners from our recent Kitchen Tour was drawn for the vacation home week.  Someone I didn’t know was drawn for the restaurants.  And my sister, Ada Steele, was drawn third for the Keeneland event!  That’s all well and good, but if I had kept my mouth shut they might have drawn in reverse order and we would have won the awesome vacation week!

As Ada said later, “Me and my big mouth!”

Tonight, at age 51, I went to my first cocktail party–a kick off for a fund raising event for the center where I work.  Thankfully, it was at least not awkward that I didn’t drink!  The party was in a beautiful home and pool area, but most people stood in the kitchen and dining room for the entire 90 minutes that we were there.  Everyone was nice and cordial–especially the host and hostess, but it is just not my thing to socialize!  I speak to people and shake hands and ask questions and smile . . . but I spend most of my time trying to nonchalantly look at my watch to count down the minutes until I can leave.

I’m not sure why God puts us in some of the situations where we find ourselves.  I believe that He perfectly designs our lives to be prepared for everything He has in store for us.  I don’t know why He has put me in a position where “meeting and greeting” sponsors, benefactors, and professionals is part of the requirements of the job.  I’m hoping these events are not preparing me for more of the same!  This fish wants to stay in the water where I’m comfortable!

But he is the president.  The majority of the citizens of this great country who took time and made the effort to vote selected him.  That is how our leaders are chosen and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

So, when did it become controversial for the duly elected President of the United States to address our children? 

If parents and school officials in our nation truly believe that President Obama would schedule this speech and take this opportunity to plant subversive ideas and address politically divisive topics with our children, then the problem is much bigger than a one-time address. 

I’ve heard that some people are questioning the “age-appropriateness” of the speech.  Hogwash.  It does not hurt children to learn to sit and listen to adults in authority for a few minutes whether or not they understand every word.  My guess is that some of the very people who are making this argument make their kids sit through church services and meetings that are not “age-appropriate” or worse let the kids watch TV and movies that are formally labeled as not “age-appropriate.” 

I really think that too many of us are having a political temper tantrum when it comes to this speech and other non issues.  We don’t like Obama or his politics, so by golly every thing he says or does needs to be questioned, debated, and resisted.  What we need to do is pay attention, be vigilant, and confront the issues. 

I am not an Obama supporter.  I can disagree with him and protest his ideas and vote against him when the time comes,  but since he is my president and our democratically elected leader, I will do my best to respect him.

Tonight I pulled out last year’s Christmas gift list and started getting a budget in my head (and on a spreadsheet) for this year.  I looked at a calendar and figured out how much I need to buy each payday between now and the middle of December to have all the shopping done and paid for before the big day.  Toyota has put a crimp in my shopping plans, though, because for the first time in many years, Jim won’t get a bonus in December.  I’m just thankful that we both are working, so I’m not going to complain about a bonus!  There are many families around the country and world who would just be grateful for jobs.

I love to look at Christmas recipes, too, and I always plan to make great dishes for the holidays . . . but it just doesn’t happen.  That used to make me feel guilty because I didn’t make the stuff I planned to make, but I’ve come to realize that the pleasure for me is reading the recipes–and the guilt for not cooking is far less than the guilt I would have if I made all the fattening food and ate it.

Speaking of eating, I am getting frustrated with my weight.  I am up almost ten pounds from where I’d like to be, and I have been watching my diet fairly closely for the past two weeks but haven’t lost any weight.   I have not, though, been exercising, so tonight I did 20 minutes of aerobics.  That is my goal for the next few weeks to do 20 minutes of exercise four times a week.  That’s not much, but it’s more than I’m doing now and hopefully it will improve my metabolism so I can lose a little weight before Christmas and Thanksgiving come around.  I’ve resigned myself to the idea that fighting my weight is going to be a lifelong battle.  I just don’t have the genes to naturally regulate what I eat.  We all have struggles and this is definitely one of mine.  Of course, knowing that is not going to keep me from going to Mi Casita tomorrow night for a birthday party.  I have to be social, you know!!

It’s amazing how quickly things change.  Eighteen days ago, we thought Val was quickly recovering from elective bladder surgery, and then all of a sudden she was in an ambulance heading to the hospital with hemorrhaging.  Then we thought, “Oh she’s going to have to have more surgery to stop the bleeding and she’ll have to spend more time in the hospital.”  By that night, she was out of surgery, but in ICU on a ventilator–where she would stay in an induced coma most of the next two weeks.

I have to be honest and say that there were times during those days that I wasn’t sure she would survive. 

God, however, is sovereign and no matter what I thought or worried about, He was in control–all the time.  I am so thankful that in His will and perfect timing, He brought healing to her body and allowed her to again begin to recover from a critical condition.  The truth is, though, that as thankful and happy I am that she is out of ICU and coming home tomorrow, I have to come to terms that if the outcome had been different, God would still be on the throne.  It’s easy to praise Him when His will fits with my desires, but real faith is being able to praise him when His will does not suit me. 

I don’t know why this chain of events happened, but I am humbled and thankful that once again He has worked His miraculous healing in the life of those I love.  He answered our prayers and will use this situation to continue to do His will.  His grace still amazes me!

She was recovering steadily until yesterday.  Yesterday morning she woke up at home and started bleeding heavily.  This morning she was sedated in ICU on a ventilator.  That is just not what you expect to happen.

It seems like the surgeon might have hit a couple of arteries in her pelvic area with a suture in the original surgery.  Yesterday morning somehow the arteries started bleeding and filling her body with blood.  Long story short–she spent the day in the ER before having emergency surgery at 6:30 last night.  They found the bleeding in a second surgical procedure and got it stopped, but in the meantime she had aspirated because she had not been fasting and her lungs filled with fluid.  She couldn’t come off of the ventilator after the surgery because of the fluid in her lungs.

I don’t understand why she has to go through this experience and another life-threatening situation.  Someone said today that God must have something important for her to do in life.  I’m not sure what I think about that.  God, of course, has something important for all of us to do, but I was thinking today that Valerie is not the only one whose life is shaped and textured by these experiences.  Val, of course, is the one who has to suffer the physical pain and deals most directly with every aspect of the experience, but none of us live in a vacuum and everything that happens to her affects all us who love her and even acquaintances who are watching her life from afar.  She will never know what impact her struggles have had on the lives and attitudes of others.

Actually, it’s the same for all of us every day.  We live our lives and think that the things we struggle with are between us and God, but that is seldom the reality.  There is almost always someone nearby who notices how we’re dealing and how we react to God’s sovereignty.  We might not even know that the thing we thought was our personal tragedy or experience was really a turning point in the life of someone on the outside of the situation.  God is amazing.  We are not pawns in a universal chess game, but we are all interrelated and only God understands how one person’s actions and situations will change the life of someone else.

I slept in the ICU waiting room for just a few hours last night, so maybe I’m just tired, but this is what’s on my mind tonight.  If I reread it tomorrow it might make absolutely no sense to me!  We’ll see.  I’ll let Val decide when she’s able to read it!

I think she will be a great teacher.  She seems to have a really good class–which is a wonderful gift to a first year teacher!  She has been working on her room for over a week.  I haven’t seen it since she put it all together, but I’m sure it looks cute.

Of course, the real fun will start about 7:30 a.m. on Monday when the kids actually show up!  It will be an adventure.  I can’t wait to hear her stories.